Saturday, September 3, 2011

Why this picture is perfect...

So let me give you some background. The last picture that we took, as a family, with decent clothes on and showered, was 2003 when Parker was 6 months old for a Christmas card. Hallie didn't even exist and that picture is still framed on my bookshelf. We have 1 other picture together with the 5 of us - well, 2 pictures actually. One is at the hospital when Hallie was born and the other is on vacation in sunglasses and swimsuits the following Thanksgiving. She was literally 5 months old. If that.

So Nana is in town and would like a picture of the 5 of us. Oh yeah I think! A perfect opportunity to get one for me as well. I will get us all clean and set the camera up and we will make happy memories. *swoon* I tell the kids listen, it doesn't have to be matchy or perfect but let's look presentable. By tell the kids I mean tell the kids AND HB because let's be honest .....

Casey comes down in a stretched out, dirty Michigan t-shirt. (GO BLUE!) Parker is still in his North All Star shirt - and sporting a hat! HB, after rolling his eyes, changed out of his under armour shorts and t-shirt.

I say please boys, please - I have spent a small fortune at Abercrombie - please can you put on something decent. They go in. They come out - Parker has removed the hat and Casey has not changed. 4 times. 4 more times I beg. I plead. There is door slamming and fit throwing. I am screaming "I don't ask that much of you!!!" I am muttering selfish little brats under my breath. Hallie looks adorable because she doesn't yet realize what is happening. I start sweating. It is 400 degrees. I might be exaggerating, it was probably only 200 degrees. I am setting up the camera. I am trying to explain to my mother-in-law how to take a picture. (A challenge I implore upon you to take on someone over the age of 60)

I finally get the boys outside. They are ticked. HB is missing. He is now back inside ordering cleats for Casey. Important. Hallie wanders off. The boys are picking my just planted flowers. Casey is all but refusing to do what I say taking this moment to become a teenager. Parker is pouting and mad and stomping around. We are a happy little Norman Rockwell family, damnit! I tell HB where to sit. I tell the boys where to sit. No one can understand what I want. People who don't know me pay me money to do this I think to myself. They don't make mad faces at me and say mean things to me. HB is complaining and saying, "Come On!" ..... so down we sit. Casey is not doing what I ask - have asked 300 times. Parker is crossing his eyes to spite me. Sweat is dripping down my face. And back. And ears, no lie. I flip out on Casey - you don't flip out on Casey - he is too sensitive and I can't have him crying he will get all blotchy. I get the boys to cooperate FINALLY and Hallie wants to lay down. I am yelling "snap the pictures faster!" at mother in law. LOL..... Hallie starts arching her back - doesn't want to sit with HB. Walks off. I threaten that she will no longer be part of our family. Then I bribe her with a fictitious Hershey bar. Lies. All lies.

We pretty much all can't stand each other at this very moment. And then *snap* ....

I can work magic, right? Frame! Happy little family.

(***as a special note I would like to really thank my MIL Gail Knodel for helping take these pictures***)

No comments:

Post a Comment