Friday, January 17, 2014

My Husband Works from Home

I am going to start a support group for wives whose husbands work from home.  I think we could have weekly lunch meetings where we could discuss the following:

1.  Will I ever vacuum again?
2.  How to keep the dog from barking when he is on a call.  Which is all day.  So basically 'How to keep the dog from barking.  Ever.'
3.  Yes I have lunch plans that don't include you.
4.  The washing machine .... Friend or foe?
5.  Inopportune times for the garbage disposal to make that awful noise like it's chopping up beer bottle tops.  (Because it is)
6.  What "beer thirty" means for moms.  (See 5)
7.  No, a nooner is not exercise.
8.  Yes, this IS what I do all day.
9.  Yes, I do miss you when you travel.  (This is the code name topic for "How to pretend you miss him when he travels when really you are happy to have the house to yourself")

The last time my husband went out of town I moved furniture, unpacked boxes (finally), built a dresser and set up an office.  I also cleaned the house like Rosa had been here.  (Rosa is the best cleaning lady in the south.  I love her.)

Now he is working in the office, doors open, on calls, so I tiptoe around afraid to make any noise for fear my loud slippers swish swishing on the floor will make that big deal go bad.

I am actually thankful to have a husband who 1) has a good job and 2) is around.  There are times between calls when a mirror needs to be hung or a kid needs to be picked up from the school early because of a tummy ache and I am stuck at Target.

Target.  Number 10.  Why Target is like a little slice of heaven.  Especially if they have a Starbucks when you first walk in.