Anyhow ...
So the magazine asks me to submit writing samples. [!!!!!!] "Some" writing samples. *bites nails* I solicit some friends for advice because they all know what I *want* to write is a parenting advice book or column called "He Won't Wear Diapers to Prom." (Don't steal that. I will be pissed.) Well, of course, I will submit some of the Dear Abby samples because they were good (pats self on back) but then I needed the "some" of the writing samples. So I went to my blog and tried to pick a selection of ones I thought were funny and sweet to show my "range" of writing. After a lengthy debate and google search on how many is "some," I chose these four:
Ok, none of those are the real names. Just alternate names, if I could rename them.
Picking samples of my writing was a lot harder than I thought it would be. What are they looking for? Is my spelling/grammar correct? Should I edit the language before I send (I did) ... When I write for me, it's easy ... when thinking about writing for someone else, it gets hard. Then I thought I would only want to write IF I was writing for me in my style so I picked four, attached to an e-mail and hit send. *fingers crossed* Hope they like ME.
So I sent them to a friend letting him/her know which ones I chose and he/she said I should have included my list from Facebook's 25 Things About Me that I wrote back in 2009. I had forgotten about that and it was too late, but in 4 years my life has changed a lot AND not at all, too. So I thought I'd share that list here making current changes in red. Even funnier are some of the comments below but you'll have to see those on Facebook.
25 Random Things About Me
1. I am a procrastinator which is why it took so long to do this.
[I wonder when I was *supposed* to have done this]
2. I am also of the mindset that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
2. I am also of the mindset that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
[Unless you are my kid]
3. Chocolate and ice cream make me feel like I am going to barf.
3. Chocolate and ice cream make me feel like I am going to barf.
[Still. Is this something I need to have taken care of by a DR? See 42.]
4. I hate doing laundry. Well, I hate putting laundry away.
4. I hate doing laundry. Well, I hate putting laundry away.
[Now I have little people that put their own laundry away]
5. We have lived off piles of laundry for about a month. (I put it away last night)
5. We have lived off piles of laundry for about a month. (I put it away last night)
[I am better about this AND I didn't need therapy to get better about this.]
6. I married someone who hates living off piles of laundry.
6. I married someone who hates living off piles of laundry.
[Still true.]
6 1/2. I wonder why the hell he can't put the laundry away.
6 1/2. I wonder why the hell he can't put the laundry away.
[He has gotten better about this. We are still married.]
7. I have really enjoyed catching up with old friends from high school and college on facebook. It has brought back a lot of really good memories and made me feel young.
7. I have really enjoyed catching up with old friends from high school and college on facebook. It has brought back a lot of really good memories and made me feel young.
[Also, it has made me question why we weren't better friends in the first place - wasted years of a lot of fun!]
8. In high school I was never really part of a clique but love that because of that I have lots of good friends from those days.
8. In high school I was never really part of a clique but love that because of that I have lots of good friends from those days.
[Yes. Very true.]
9. I was a Gamma Phi Beta in college and my best friends were Pikes. I did NOT sleep with [*most of*] them.
9. I was a Gamma Phi Beta in college and my best friends were Pikes. I did NOT sleep with [*most of*] them.
[I stand by this story.]
10. I caught a boyfriend having sex with another girl in college. [That was fun]
10. I caught a boyfriend having sex with another girl in college. [That was fun]
[I still hate that b*tch.]
11. I was engaged twice, married once.
11. I was engaged twice, married once.
[As long as he keeps putting his laundry away, this will not be a problem.]
12. My husband and I never fight.
12. My husband and I never fight.
[Unless he asks me to create a spreadsheet. Then I am calling lawyers.]
13. I think I am fat.
13. I think I am fat.
[Ha. This was 15 pounds ago. Please. Now I really am fat.]
14. I do NOT want another baby. (Really this time, OK?) But I do sometimes wish Hallie were twins because she is so good and cute and fluffy and fun and it would be nice to have an even number. (OCD)
14. I do NOT want another baby. (Really this time, OK?) But I do sometimes wish Hallie were twins because she is so good and cute and fluffy and fun and it would be nice to have an even number. (OCD)
[Thank God Hallie was not twins.]
15. I love being at the beach with my kids. I see no point in the pool when you are on vacation.
15. I love being at the beach with my kids. I see no point in the pool when you are on vacation.
[I still believe this. I also have a kick ass pool with waterslide in my neighborhood which is 10 times nicer than most pools at the beach.]
16. If you say "bless your heart" to me, I know you are pretty much telling me to go screw myself.
16. If you say "bless your heart" to me, I know you are pretty much telling me to go screw myself.
[I still believe this, too .....]
17. I am a yankee and we won. Get over it.
17. I am a yankee and we won. Get over it.
[Ahhhh ... the war of northern aggression. Sweet, sweet topic down here.]
18. 4th grade science is hard and I am struggling. I flunked my last test.
18. 4th grade science is hard and I am struggling. I flunked my last test.
[I wish someone would have prepared me for middle school science. Now we have a tutor. I gave up.]
19. I have made a really good group of friends online through a birth board who have helped me so much through my pregnancy and infant and I love these women. We talk online every day and have for over a year.
19. I have made a really good group of friends online through a birth board who have helped me so much through my pregnancy and infant and I love these women. We talk online every day and have for over a year.
[There are still a handful of us that talk almost daily. I love these girls. I hope they are real.]
20. My husband is my best friend.
20. My husband is my best friend.
[Still.]
21. I did NOT vote for Obama.
21. I did NOT vote for Obama.
[Twice.]
22. I have a small crush on Bill O'Reilly and he might be my "free pass."
22. I have a small crush on Bill O'Reilly and he might be my "free pass."
[OK ..... Might need to switch this to Glenn Beck.]
23. I kinda like Ann Coulter. *ducking*
23. I kinda like Ann Coulter. *ducking*
[Where has she been?]
24. I love heated political debates.
24. I love heated political debates.
[I also figured out heated political debates cause me stress so I try (TRY) to avoid them now.]
25. I have a hard time saying I'm sorry.
25. I have a hard time saying I'm sorry.
[I'm sorry but this is true.]
26. I love to go out with my friends for drinks..... each friend gives me something the others can not and I love that.
26. I love to go out with my friends for drinks..... each friend gives me something the others can not and I love that.
[I miss doing this but I also have become good friends with my DVR because I am too tired for drinks.]
27. I can stay up all night playing cards and drinking and still get up at 7:00 a.m. and feed a baby.
27. I can stay up all night playing cards and drinking and still get up at 7:00 a.m. and feed a baby.
[Oh my God. Not any more.]
28. I do not have a passport and am scared to leave the US of A.
28. I do not have a passport and am scared to leave the US of A.
[I do have a passport now and it has a stamp in it.]
29. I hope my husband does not make his work trip ("Club") because I do not want to be stranded away from my kids in the middle of the mediterranean sea on a small boat and I know this is unsupportive.
29. I hope my husband does not make his work trip ("Club") because I do not want to be stranded away from my kids in the middle of the mediterranean sea on a small boat and I know this is unsupportive.
[He did not make that trip - YEA! - but I did have to go to the Bahamas the following year. Next time I do that I am making sure I have international calling.]
30. I hated living in Michigan.
30. I hated living in Michigan.
[The farther removed I am from living in Michigan the more I realize I hated it because it was the first time I moved away from family/friends - and I miss the midwest.]
31. I loved living in WI. I think Milwaukee is one of the best places on earth.
31. I loved living in WI. I think Milwaukee is one of the best places on earth.
[It really is. Don't go right now. It's like -14.]
32. My cat and dog fight all the time - in a playful way - and I was surprised to hear this wasn't normal.
32. My cat and dog fight all the time - in a playful way - and I was surprised to hear this wasn't normal.
[My catS and dog.]
33. I have 2 boys who couldn't be more different and I sometimes wonder how they were both born of my womb.
33. I have 2 boys who couldn't be more different and I sometimes wonder how they were both born of my womb.
[Still true. So. Very. True.]
34. I love to sit in front of a fireplace. I like the way a fire smells.
34. I love to sit in front of a fireplace. I like the way a fire smells.
[But when I try to get up from the floor I can't walk for like 5 minutes because my knees and back don't work.]
35. I don't like "good beer."
35. I don't like "good beer."
[I am ok with a Platinum - does that count?]
36. Someone told me once that I would "appreciate" red wine when I turned 30. I didn't appreciate it until about 2 months ago and it has been a long time since I turned 30.
36. Someone told me once that I would "appreciate" red wine when I turned 30. I didn't appreciate it until about 2 months ago and it has been a long time since I turned 30.
[It has been an even longer time since I turned 30.]
37. I am extremely stubborn.
37. I am extremely stubborn.
[Who me?]
38. I can (and will) fire off a mean ass e-mail, if I need to do so.
38. I can (and will) fire off a mean ass e-mail, if I need to do so.
[There is medication that can help this.]
38. I was a nanny for 8 years after college and I loved those kids like my own.
38. I was a nanny for 8 years after college and I loved those kids like my own.
[One is in college and the other is in law school. Feels like yesterday I was kicking a neighbor girl out of the yard because she was mean to Taryn. She was 6.]
39. I am not afraid of getting my identity stolen but I'm not stupid about it either.
39. I am not afraid of getting my identity stolen but I'm not stupid about it either.
[I also don't click shit. Why is this so hard for people?]
40. The biggest spider I ever killed without a shoe was about the size of a quarter.
40. The biggest spider I ever killed without a shoe was about the size of a quarter.
[I really don't want to think about this anymore.]
41. I love cookbooks but never use them. I do like to cook.
41. I love cookbooks but never use them. I do like to cook.
[Cookbooks are nice decorations.]
42. I never go to the DR unless it is absolutely necessary. I do take my kids as needed.
42. I never go to the DR unless it is absolutely necessary. I do take my kids as needed.
[I need to schedule my mammogram.]
42 1/2. I don't even have a DR (besides an OB) in Georgia and I have lived here for over 8 years.
42 1/2. I don't even have a DR (besides an OB) in Georgia and I have lived here for over 8 years.
[Really need to think about getting a regular DR. Might be time for one of those physicals people speak of.]
43. I love both my kids teachers this year SO much and am trying to revel in it because I know this will probably never happen again.
43. I love both my kids teachers this year SO much and am trying to revel in it because I know this will probably never happen again.
[It did happen again. And I am very lucky.]
44. I need to take a shower today.
44. I need to take a shower today.
[I like to help conserve water. It's the liberal in me. That's hard to write without laughing.]
45. I have acrylic nails and only get them done every 6 weeks. LAZY.
45. I have acrylic nails and only get them done every 6 weeks. LAZY.
[I wish there was a way to grow these bad boys off and go back to real nails.]
46. I think I would like to write a book someday.
46. I think I would like to write a book someday.
[Or a column. ;o)]
47. I still think my wedding was beautiful.
47. I still think my wedding was beautiful.
[I do. But my eyebrows were big and I probably would have opted for a smaller bouquet.]
48. I can remember sitting on the steps at Gamma Phi looking through Joe Photo's pics and saying out loud, "At least these dresses will always be in style!"
48. I can remember sitting on the steps at Gamma Phi looking through Joe Photo's pics and saying out loud, "At least these dresses will always be in style!"
[I can sill remember that. Good sign I don't have alzheimers, right?]
49. I hated the sleeping arrangements in my sorority house but loved my roomies.
49. I hated the sleeping arrangements in my sorority house but loved my roomies.
[Yes.]
50. I am not a good rule follower. This is number 50.
50. I am not a good rule follower. This is number 50.
[I try and be a good rule follower. I really do. Lead by example.]
51. I think the SST process is hard and I have learned a lot.
51. I think the SST process is hard and I have learned a lot.
[It gets harder.]
52. I despise Caillou. Really. He makes me shake he is so irritating.
52. I despise Caillou. Really. He makes me shake he is so irritating.
[Funny. This does not change.]
53. I do not mind Barney.
53. I do not mind Barney.
[I miss the hour long Christmas Barney. It was Casey's favorite. Brings back awesome memories.]
54. I use Pampers.
54. I use Pampers.
[Not anymore but maybe one day soon .... a lot changes after you turn 40.]
55. I am the least "crunchy" person you will probably ever meet. That said, someone sent me a sling and I wore my baby. In my house. Alone. About 20 times.
55. I am the least "crunchy" person you will probably ever meet. That said, someone sent me a sling and I wore my baby. In my house. Alone. About 20 times.
[Then I sent it to a friend because what was next? Milling my own flour?]
56. I am excited for Parker to play soccer because there is no drama there for me.
56. I am excited for Parker to play soccer because there is no drama there for me.
[That lasted 2 seasons. There is also no score keeping in soccer.]
[56 1/2. I am competitive.]
57. I am excited to get a season off from being team-mom but nervous it is going to get screwed up.
57. I am excited to get a season off from being team-mom but nervous it is going to get screwed up.
[It didn't get screwed up.]
58. I am a bit of a control freak.
58. I am a bit of a control freak.
[I need to let some things go.]
59. I miss running the consignment sale sometimes.
59. I miss running the consignment sale sometimes.
[No. No I don't.]
60. I could stay in my pajamas all day every day and my friends think sweats are my "uniform."
60. I could stay in my pajamas all day every day and my friends think sweats are my "uniform."
[I like to be comfy ok?]
61. I have to leave the house once every day or I will lose my mind.
[Sometimes I don't leave the house and I am ok with it.]
62. I eat McDonalds.
62. I eat McDonalds.
[I eat McDonald's.]
63. I wish Hallie had hair.
63. I wish Hallie had hair.
[I wish Hallie would let me brush her hair without screaming.]
64. I miss photography and am getting the itch to start shooting again.
64. I miss photography and am getting the itch to start shooting again.
[I am busier than ever.]
65. I do not think you should submerge meat in water in a crock pot. I do think you can't screw anything up in there either.
65. I do not think you should submerge meat in water in a crock pot. I do think you can't screw anything up in there either.
[I did submerge meat in the crock pot for the first time about a month ago. I saw no difference.]
66. I hate PDA .... *shudder*
66. I hate PDA .... *shudder*
[I mean come on. Get a room.]
67. HB and I say "I love you" on the phone only when he is about to get on a plane or away on a trip. Other than that we only say it when we mean it, it is not a habit.
67. HB and I say "I love you" on the phone only when he is about to get on a plane or away on a trip. Other than that we only say it when we mean it, it is not a habit.
[To. This. Day.]
68. I sometimes think I want to move into a bigger/nicer house but realize how much I like the way my children are being raised right here....
68. I sometimes think I want to move into a bigger/nicer house but realize how much I like the way my children are being raised right here....
[I have had this thought process every year since I wrote it the first time.]
69. I do not like 69. I wonder if anyone caught there were two number 38s.
69. I do not like 69. I wonder if anyone caught there were two number 38s.
[There were 2 number 38s.]
70. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and my mind changes daily.
70. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and my mind changes daily.
[I want to be a writer and a photographer. And a weather girl. And a child psychologist. And an arts and crafts teacher.]
71. I can fit in my pre pregnancy jeans but I know they fit me different.
71. I can fit in my pre pregnancy jeans but I know they fit me different.
[Oh Lorddddd do they fit me different.]
72. I wonder how many random thoughts I actually have.
72. I wonder how many random thoughts I actually have.
[A lot.]
73. Like why do we say owl and howl but bowl is not spelled bole and bowel is not spelled bowl. Makes no sense.
73. Like why do we say owl and howl but bowl is not spelled bole and bowel is not spelled bowl. Makes no sense.
[Or why do we say Ashleigh and sleigh different.]
74. I am abnormally strong for my size.
74. I am abnormally strong for my size.
[I have self diagnosed arthritis. I am less strong but only in my hands.]
75. I wonder if anyone is actually reading this.
75. I wonder if anyone is actually reading this.
[I wonder if anyone is actually reading this.]
