Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Facebooking with Pre-teens

So I'll admit it. I have a few friends on facebook that are friends of Casey. They are pre-teen little girls. And I read their stuff but never comment so they forget about me. It's worked well so far. (Maybe until they read this, of course, but I think they should be blocked....) Well, if you are friends with any middle-school age girls, you have probably noticed they are all posting and reposting this crazy list of how you should treat a girl and what you should do when sort of thing..... *rolling eyes*

[sidenote: It is important for me to step back right now and remind myself how I was in 7th grade .... Seriously boy crazy and obsessed. But here's the truth of the matter. I'm not anymore. And it's silly to have been. So there.]

Anyhow, I have been debating whether I should discuss this list the girls are posting with Casey to let him know my thoughts .... let me know what you think I should do - my thoughts are in brackets and red.

When she stares at your mouth
-Kiss her
... ...
[Don't kiss her, she might actually be debating if she should tell you you have food stuck in your braces]

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she thinks she's stronger than you
-Grab her and don't let go
[NEVER grab a girl and don't let go. That's called rape in a court of law.]

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
-Kiss her and tell her you love her
[She's a bitch with a potty mouth, dump her ass]

When she's quiet
-Ask her whats wrong
[Be thankful she isn't talking for a few minutes. There is probably nothing wrong.]

When she ignores you
-Give her your attention
[Enjoy the break and call a friend to go play football]

When she pulls away
-Pull her back
[Again, not a good idea]

When you see her at her worst
-Tell her she's beautiful
[OK, do this one. That's pretty nice.]

When you see her start crying
-Just hold her and don't say a word
[No... ask her "What the f*ck is wrong now?!"]

When you see her walking
-Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
[Really? Gay.]

When she's scared
-Protect her
[Honestly? You'll probably be scared, too.]

When she steals your favorite hoodie
-Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
[Unless it's Abercrombie or important. Then your mom will kick your ass.]

When she teases you
-Tease her back and make her laugh
[Why is that bitch teasing you?]

When she doesn't answer for a long time
-Reassure her that everything is okay
[Why is something wrong? So confused.]

When she looks at you with doubt
-Back yourself up
[Back yourself up with a few friends who have your back.]

When she says that she loves you
-she really does more than you can understand
[Seriously. Because she has hormones that you do not.]

When she grabs at your hands
-Hold hers and play with her fingers
[Unless they're sticky. Because then ewwwww.]

When she bumps into you
-Bump into her back and make her laugh
[Or just form tackle her and tell her to quit bumping into you.]

When she tells you a secret
-Keep it safe and untold
[Except tell your mom because if someone ever says 'don't tell anyone,' remember you are supposed to tell your mom.]

When she looks at you in your eyes
-dont look away until she does
[What are you, cats?]

When she says it's over
-she still wants you to be hers
[Yeah, because she's a possessive little wench.]

When she reposts this bulletin
-she wants you to read it
[Not your mom, though. But she did.]

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
[Revert back to first and second comment about this not being a good idea. Holding someone against their will is also kidnapping.]

- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
[I remember all my boyfriends whether they were nice or mean. Just be you for God's sake.]

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
[Unless you're asleep, of course.]

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you
[Um no. Your family should always matter more.]

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick
[Gross, really? I mean HOWWWWW sick? You don't want to catch it. And shouldn't she be sleeping instead of staying up all night?]

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid
[Not a bad idea but your friends will laugh at you.]

- Give her the world.
[Yeah right. How are you planning to get "the world" with no job?]

- Let her wear your clothes
[Unless she's bigger than you.]

-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
[Pre-teenage girls are ALWAYS bored and sad. You need to have a life outside of this chick. She sounds like a real pain.]

-Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain
[Sure, if you want to catch pneumonia. ~Love, Grandma]

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Whose butt am i kicking,BABY?"
[Remember, if you get caught kicking someones butt, it better be for a better reason than this.]

1 comment:

  1. Sweet baby Jebus!!! Were we really like this (don't answer that question). But yes, I agree with you. This "chick" sounds psycho. Staring, cursing, hitting, demanding, moody, over-powering, insecure, sobbing, somewhat masochistic, thief, and all around split personality??? No wonder boys didn't want to ask us out at that age. YIKES!!! Run Forest Run ....