twelve.

Seriously? My oldest is 12? When I was 12 (back in the late 90's of course .... shut up), I was wearing tight Jordache jeans, never left home without my goody comb, went roller skating on Friday nights, was in love with (and was certain I was going to marry) Michael Jackson, called my best friend to plan our outfits to match for the next school day, had my first real boyfriend (I do wonder what Jack is up to these days and wonder if he remembers giving me that brass apple for Christmas that his mom picked out when, really, all I wanted was the Christmas collection of lip smackers, but I digress), learned how to brown nose my teachers (the beginning of the end), took Latin so I could say cum without getting in trouble and see all sorts of peni...er...statues, and went through puberty. (Zip it.)

Those of you who know me know my summers are chock full of events. Starts with our anniversary mid June, then Father's Day and then within a 5 week period I have Casey's birthday, HB's birthday, Parker's birthday and Hallie's birthday. Add to that the fact that both boys are playing baseball this summer and Casey is also golfing competitively and you have one crazy, worn out momma.

So, in light of Casey's inch toward puberty, I thought I would revisit some of the years past and walk you down memory lane.

***I know I have some skillz (yo) in photography so I thought I would offer this disclaimer: Some of the photos taken are pictures OF pictures TAKEN WITH my iphone. Just didn't want you to judge me too harshly. I don't know how to scan on my printer.***

***I also know that harshly ends in "ly" and you should never end a sentence in ly.***

This is Casey as a newborn. So happy to hold all 7 lbs, 7 ozs of him ...... sweet little toes and nose and feet..... Ok, Ok ..... lies. All lies. About day 4 of his little life he started screaming and didn't stop for 14 more weeks. About night 2 of that I remember HB saying, "If this is how it's going to be, I'm not doing this." Ummmmmmmm ......... k?

This is Casey at his first birthday party. On his birthday. Running. I'll take your pity right now, thanks.

About age 1 1/2 - 2, we started golfing with Casey. This is Casey at about 3 golfing with HB. I love this picture. We are hoping Casey loves golf forever as much as he did when he was little and still does today.

(*coughwearehopinghegetsascholarshipforgolfcuzitprobablyisntgoingtobeforacademicscough*)

Casey at about age 5. 5 is the age we decided he was so ready to go to kindergarten because he wanted to ride the bus and who wouldn't use that as a basis for a lifelong decision you might regret? (Note: on the first day of kindergarten Casey stood at the bus stop and when the bus arrived he screamed bloody murder and we drove him to school. Yup.)

****** Here is that little break where we lose about 4 years of sweet Casey's life. I'm not going to lie. I've got the pictures. Somewhere. In a box. Dusty. Or even better, on a teeny tiny SD card. In a drawer. It was back in the day when I was so good at going to Costco and printing all the pictures off my memory cards and putting them chronologically into an album. Then Parker hit 2 years old and it all went downhill. But we can address Parker another day. And it was before my mac and iphoto where I have them all (all 91 GB of them) stored on my lap top. I think.******

So pretend you just saw some really great, super cute pictures of Casey playing baseball, at school parties, hanging with his friends, getting his big teeth and just being cute.

Still with me? OK.

This is Casey at age 9. Age 9 is when we realized he thought he was 13. And started asking for a facebook page. And a cell phone and all sorts of stuff that we thought he was way too young for. Age 9 is also the age we caved - and made him start earning his own money to pay for some of these things. Age 9 is when we realized whoa! parenting is not getting easier, now is it?

This is Casey's 10th birthday ..... he is losing his baby. :o( I remember thinking double digits! Wow! The only digits Casey was worried about were the ones he asked an 18 year old girl for ..... hey, at least he likes girls?!

And then there was last year. 11. Pre-teen. Some of the friends are a little more advanced than the others. But not one of these sweet, immature boys complained about THIS party. Because really - who doesn't love their fried pickles?!

Happy 12th birthday to my sweet Casey. And I'm giving everyone a year warning. When he turns 13 I might need to be revived. I don't want him to grow up! WAH!

Enjoy every minute with your little minions...... and may they all enjoy their birthdays as much as Casey is enjoying his! xoxo

The "Perfect" Child

I am not one to write a lot about my kids getting straight A's, doing super great on their CRCT's, or their overall sheer perfection. I mean, as their mother, I think it is MY responsibility to think they are perfect. As once was said to me, "your children are perfect in the eyes of 3 people. You [their mom], their dad and God." However, I am one to tell you when one of my kids writes with sharpie on my couch, one gets beat up by a bully probably because he had it coming or just the overall chaos that is called my life. My dad called once and asked me to call him back when I wasn't multi-tasking. Clearly he forgot what it's like to raise children. I said, "Dad - when exactly am I NOT multi-tasking ... maybe when I'm in the car, but if I call you from there, I guess I will technically be multi-tasking."

Anyhow, as Casey reaches that icky pre-teen/puberty stage and I feel him slipping away and long for the days where he would snuggle up with me, thumb in his mouth, rubbing his blankie on his nose and say, "Momma, wead me a stowee" and stuff like that .... and I lie awake at night wondering how did I mess him up so bad? Is my time running out? I wish I would have done this or that differently..... I feel him slipping away and it hurts my heart ohhh sooo baddddd...... we have conversations about qualities we see that we like in other kids and qualities we do not. Sometimes I feel like I am trying a little too hard to shape his personality to become the person I (or we) want him to be instead of just letting him "be" hoping we did an OK job raising him. Then I lie there thinking, "Please God, let him turn out OK." Or "Please God, let me stop fighting his battles for him" ... or "Please God, let him turn out to be someone we are proud to call our own."

And I wonder .... I wonder what it's like when I am NOT there..... not there to remind him to be kind. To remind him to be respectful. And to be a good friend. And all the things he learned in kindergarten like that stupid poster everyone had in 1988 says. And you just don't know.

So here's where the bragging comes in. Within the last 3 weeks I have received 2 e-mails. I am changing the names of the people involved but other than that they are verbatim .....

The first:

From: Anonymous (LOL)

Date: April 11, 2011 7:57:17 AM EDT

To: Tami Walsh

Subject: Your son is a hero :)

Did Casey tell you he helped a girl who got knocked down about a week before
spring break? The girl was my 6th grader, [Katie], who ended up with a
broken arm from her fall (was accidentally tripped in the hall)... He
scooped her up and grabbed her bookbag and helped her to the clinic :) She
didn't know who he was b/c she was crying (I'm sure hysterically, she's my
drama queen), but a friend found out over the break and told her.

If it was indeed Casey, tell him he's a very nice boy :)
[Her mom]

So when Casey got home, in true Walsh fashion, I said, "So I heard you knocked a girl down before spring break and broke her arm?!" He was all like, "No I didn't!!!! I saw it happen and helped her to the clinic!!!!!"

*slaps wrist* Bad mommy. Bad.

(This is why therapists get paid good money, by the way)

Then today I received this e-mail:

From: I'm not telling you who wrote this one either!

Date: April 27, 2011 12:14:08 PM EDT

To: Tami Walsh , Tami Walsh

Subject: Just to let you know...

Hey,

I just wanted to let you and HB know what a great son you have!

[Emily] has struggled on so many levels this year. Late last night, she was particularly upset about not having any friends.

While talking to her, she said that each day during one of the class changes, she passes Casey and each day he puts his hand up for her to give him a high five. It makes her feel good. It makes her feel that someone cares about her.

I wanted you to know that your friendly, caring son has made a difference in [Emily's] life. It is true that you never know what a smile or hello may mean to another person and that little things can really make a difference and have an impact.

Just thought you'd like to know that you have raised a super young man!

Love you,

[Her Mom]

This brought me to tears.

Here's my moral of the story - if someone, especially a child, has done something nice for you or your child, let the mom know. Because maybe - JUST MAYBE - she lies awake at night wondering if she is doing an OK job, too.

xoxo

What should I do with this hair?!

OMG. I love Hallie's hair. It is soft and cute and flips on the ends .... and it is still blonde. BUT, it. is. a. mess. She loves to wear hairbows, but, like her clothing, she has to change styles every 5 minutes. So out comes the hairbow .... and this is what we have left ....

I am OK with this. Because it means she is having a great day. Last week she insisted on wearing Parpee's helmet and riding her princess scooter..... I thought she looked pretty cute even with the bedhead!

After her bath yesterday, I dried her hair (which she loves) and she looked in the mirror and said, "I wook butifuw!" And I thought - girl, you look beautiful no matter WHAT your hair looks like. :oD

Fairy Tale Ball .....

In first grade at our elementary school we have what is called "The Fairy Tale Ball." Or as I have renamed it "The Reason You Do Not Be Room Mom In First Grade." The outside of the classrooms and hallways are decorated, the inside of the classrooms are decorated - all fancy like - and nothing is left undone.... The kids come dressed as a fairy tale character and parade through the hallways. Parker was a prince .....

(I hope you paid special attention to his boots and shirt.)

THEN, there is the "ball." The ball kind of depends on what your teacher wants and this year we have an awesome teacher so our kids did little plays .....

And danced with their partner.....

(This bottom picture is the little smirk Parker makes when he is shy/embarrassed or being sneaky .... I LOVE it.)

Then they ate a ton of junk food. It was at the point where Parker was slamming pixie sticks that I decided it was time to go and leave my sweet cherub with his teacher. Whom I adore. SO so so very much.

This fairy tale ball made me realize how fast our kids are growing up. Parker asked Paige to go to the ball with him and then danced with her. Parker and Paige took their dancing very seriously and had their box step down to a tee... watch out Dancing with the Stars! When we were walking into the classroom for the ball after the parade, Paige's mom said, "Oh I heard Paige and Parker are dancing together!" to which I replied, "Yes, I have heard from a few kids that Parker has a crush on Paige." To which Paige's mom replied, "How do they even know what that word means?"

*slowly creeps out of the room*

For me, having Casey in middle school, I find it hard to shelter my younger kids from the "bad words" like butt and crush. And, God forbid, fart. Hallie even thinks she has a penis - and I am not kidding. No worries, I corrected her and told her that she does, in fact, NOT have a penis but, rather, has a "private." (Wow, lots of commas in the last sentence and I am 95% sure I didn't need all of them - but I use commas where I pause, not where they are necessary. So there. And I am also using this space to divert your attention from the fact that I can't get myself to teach her the V word and I am not sure why.) I really don't want to rush them to grow up ... Parker won't even give me a hug or kiss at school anymore. :( (Casey, however, still runs up to me hugging me and kisses me goodbye every EVERY time I leave....)

So when I hear moms saying they will not miss having to attend the fairy tale ball (and, yeah, it's hot and smelly and the food is catered to a 7 year old), I think Really? I think I will miss it. A lot. They just grow up so fast. I want to freeze time right now with Parker. I want to remember him snuggling in my bed and laying in HB's spot when he is out of town. (I am OK forgetting how he turns sideways and kicks me in the head) I want to remember his sweet little cheeks and baby teeth and his desire to learn and read and be silly and make new friends and please us. I love his independence but I love it when he needs me even more.

Although - when I asked him once why he doesn't "need" me like Casey does, he said, "It's OK Mom. Casey likes you."

Huh?

Yup. I will even miss his innocent honesty.

Thank you Cassie!

I love our new blog layout!!! :)

Terrible Twos!

Two's? Twos? I googled it and it is printed both ways....

My least favorite age to photograph (with the exception of newborns) is age 2. I have a love hate relationship with it. Two year olds don't really care whether you want them to sit or stand or run or jump ... they don't care if you offer them candy or balloons. Because there is no reasoning with a toddler.

Hallie is no different. In fact it's worse. Because she is mine. I have yet to meet a photographer who said they LOVED shooting their own kids. So in my effort to capture more memories of her life, I have decided to capture those moments that reflect her every day life. She's super cute and all but I don't want her to look back and say "Was I always dressed in Matilda Jane wearing a cute knit hat with a big whopping flower on the side?" (sidenote: My dad is thanking the Lord above right now, I just know it. He hates flowers in hair or any kind of "head dress." Like she is an Indian. But I digress.)

So the other day I thought oh look! Look how cute Hallie is all dressed up in her Tinkerbell costume! (If you ask her, it is "Princess Tinkerbell," not just Tinkerbell. And there is no arguing with her about it. Because, again, there is no reasoning with a toddler.)

So I said, "Hallie! Can mommy take a picture of you in your super cute princess costume?" "NO!" "Please? We can send it to Daddy?!" "No. I no yike pisters." "But mommy thinks you look sooooo pretty!!! Puhleaseeeee .... I will give you an M & M....." "No pister. I want M & M." [insert big huge temper tantrum over an M & M. A yellow one to be exact.]

This was the resulting shot:

So then, of course, I gave her the M & M. Because I am a pushover. And got this snarky shot:

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tea Party .....

(I am in the process of updating my blog layout so please excuse its ugliness, LOL)

Updating a blog is very time consuming. (Right, Cassie?) Let's be honest here. I have no clue how to do it myself so I have to solicit the help of a friend. Who I will pay to make it pretty. I'm sick of it looking like someone (who has no clue) went to blogger, set up a blog, and chose a fancy layout from the advanced button. Or maybe it wasn't advanced. Anyhow .... I can't wait to make it look pretty. (And professional)

I had promised myself I would blog more - even if not about photography - and I failed at it. I think I got lost in the notion that eating your weight in cakes and cookies was a better option than blogging. Well, here we are 3 weeks before spring break, fatter than ever, and I have decided that if I work out NOW and blog NOW, the weight from the snow week will miraculously fall off. Wish me luck. I need to change my eating/exercise habits OR change the people I vacation with. Hmmmmm ............ I wonder what the cast of "Heavy" is doing this April.....

On similar (or not at all similar) note, I pulled Hallie out of preschool 2 days a week so I could spend more time with her (read: shape the little girl she was becoming) and we have been having so much fun. (SERIOUSLY!) I thought I was a total boy mom until she begged me to play tea party with her. Having two older brothers and not a lot of girly stuff, our tea party materials are few and far between and pretty much consist of rummaging through the paper goods cabinet (leftover birthday and holiday plates and napkins, etc). Here are a couple pics from our tea party this morning. (I had to turn them b/w and crop them for a couple reasons - 1. They looked cuter that way, 2. She is covered in boogies and amoxicillan, 3. She is totally mismatched AND 4. My house is a pit and I thought you would be less likely to notice.)

Here is our fancy setup. Please note our tea parties are actually picnics because we don't have a little table. My friend Abbie had promised me her daughter's little tea party table and has since taken back the offer because she can't bear the thought of parting with it. Her daughter is like 28. (OK, she is 7 but whatever.)

You MUST - and I mean MUST! - wear fancy necklaces to the tea party no matter how you got them. *blush*

This is the sweet face I get to look at while I sip my tea and eat my mac 'n cheese. Yes, she cooked some mac 'n cheese today. What of it?

I'm teaching her young. Even though our tea cup is a green (I swear it's green) solo cup the size of her face, she MUST have her pinky up or we might as well just be at the park for a real picnic and not sharing a spot of tea. Am I right?

And this? is what I really get to look at every day.....